Healthy relationships survey results
Two surveys were given to a convenience sample of 19 young adults aged 18 to 25. The sample included 10 females and 9 males. The first survey examined sexual values among the sample. The second survey examined attitudes about love. Some questions may have been misunderstood, the respondents were all working in their second language. Other questions undoubtedly carry meanings and implications that will be interpreted differently as a result of cultural factors. The respondents were asked to strongly agree (1), slightly agree (2), slightly disagree (3), or strongly disagree (4) with nineteen statements.
The respondents had strong consensus agreement for the following statements:
3. Concern over sexual performance is quite common.
9. The quality of a sexual relationship is usually parallel to the quality of the partners' relationship in general.
17. Most people who are intimate with each other find it relatively easy to talk openly and honestly about the intimate details of sexuality.
Given the youth of the respondents, agreement with number three is perhaps to be expected.
There was a consensus at slight agreement for:
12. Sexual freedom ought to be counterbalanced by sexual responsibility.
Some other areas of agreement, but with slightly less consensus, were:
2. Sex-role definitions and stereotypes get in the way of mutually satisfying sexual relations.
5. If a woman doesn't experience orgasm, it is generally because the man has not been sensitive enough to her needs.
7. In a sexual relationship, it is the job of each partner to make the other feel like a woman or a man.
8. Getting in touch with our sexual attractions and feelings toward others generally leads to covert sexual behavior.
10. Sexual freedom implies doing whatever consenting adults agree to.
15. Extramarital sex inevitably causes dissatisfaction in the marital relationships.
19. Sex without love is unsatisfying.
One respondent inquired about the meaning of the word "extramarital" Other respondents may have had difficulties with other words in the survey. Most of the respondents are single, not yet married.
The respondents disagreed with only two statements, and the data has the strongest split for these two statements.
11. If we want to, we can re-educate ourselves so that we can experience sexual relationships with numerous partners without feeling guilty.
13. We will probably be no more sexually attractive to others than we are to ourselves.
In retrospect perhaps identifying gender would have allowed determining whether the splitting was along gender lines. One other statement showed splitting of opinion but had an overall generally neutral response:
6. If a man experiences erection problems, it is generally because of the woman's lack of appreciation of his manhood.
Number six is likely to be splitting along gender lines, but this cannot be proven. Number six had the largest magnitude of schism in the responses.
The second survey examined attitudes towards love. On this survey the responses were strongly disagree (1), somewhat agree (2), and strongly agree (3). Numerically this survey reversed value meanings from the first survey. All 19 respondents completed the second survey.
The respondents had strong consensus agreement with the following statements:
2. Love is the most important thing in my life.
6. Each of us has our "one and only" somewhere out there, if only we can find that person.
7. Once you find your "one and only," you will never feel attracted to anyone else.
The hold on the respondents of the "one and only" concept is perhaps remarkable but may also be reflection of youth. Someone out there is the perfect one for me is perhaps a romantic notion that youth are permitted to possess. Number seven is concerning however. The reality is that one will feel attractions to others. Rather than realizing that their assumption of a "one and only" is wrong, the respondents may decide that their feelings of attraction towards others is evidence that the one they are with is not their one and only "true love." This may put their relationship in jeopardy as they seek to fulfill a false belief in there being a one and only true love for them.
One other statement saw consensus at a somewhat agree level:
4. I am able to function very well without someone to love.
This might also be expected of 18 to 25 year olds - they have not yet been in a longer term relationship in which one comes to depend on a partner over the course of decades..
The area of strongest disagreement was also the statement that had the highest splitting of responses:
16. You're a sucker if you fall in love with someone who has no money.
All but one respondent answered this with either a 1 or a 3, there was only a single 2. That the response was so polarizing suggests that there were two populations with respect to this statement. This again suggests that perhaps the split was along gender lines. The ideal here is still more often a male headed household primary provider. A man has value in part in that he can provide resources via fishing, farming, or salary to support the family.
Two other areas saw a split:
1. I don't believe that research should be done on love, because love should remain mysterious.
5. Love is a fantasy that is popular with 13-year-old girls.
For the first statement the 2.32 average suggests a split between somewhat agree and strongly agree. The respondents generally agree with this statement, but there are some differences of opinion on this. The fifth statement saw an average that indicates somewhat agree, but with splitting of opinions on the statement.
There were also two areas that saw strong agreement but some splitting in opinion:
8. If you love too much, you will only get hurt.
13. If you love someone enough, any kind of problem in the relationship can be overcome.
While eight leans cynical, 13 leans romantic. The idea that love can solve all problems is again likely the result of the youthfulness of the respondents.
The second survey asked the respondents to sum up their scores. A score of 40 to 48 points indicated that the respondent has very romantic ideas about love. A score of 24 to 39 points indicated that the respondent has more realistic ideas about love. A score of 16 to 23 points indicated that the respondent is pretty cynical about love.
Of the 19 respondents, 14 rated as realistic, 5 as romantic, and 0 as cynical. Cynical perhaps comes with age and relationships that did not succeed or which ended badly for a person.
The respondents had strong consensus agreement for the following statements:
3. Concern over sexual performance is quite common.
9. The quality of a sexual relationship is usually parallel to the quality of the partners' relationship in general.
17. Most people who are intimate with each other find it relatively easy to talk openly and honestly about the intimate details of sexuality.
Given the youth of the respondents, agreement with number three is perhaps to be expected.
There was a consensus at slight agreement for:
12. Sexual freedom ought to be counterbalanced by sexual responsibility.
Some other areas of agreement, but with slightly less consensus, were:
2. Sex-role definitions and stereotypes get in the way of mutually satisfying sexual relations.
5. If a woman doesn't experience orgasm, it is generally because the man has not been sensitive enough to her needs.
7. In a sexual relationship, it is the job of each partner to make the other feel like a woman or a man.
8. Getting in touch with our sexual attractions and feelings toward others generally leads to covert sexual behavior.
10. Sexual freedom implies doing whatever consenting adults agree to.
15. Extramarital sex inevitably causes dissatisfaction in the marital relationships.
19. Sex without love is unsatisfying.
One respondent inquired about the meaning of the word "extramarital" Other respondents may have had difficulties with other words in the survey. Most of the respondents are single, not yet married.
The respondents disagreed with only two statements, and the data has the strongest split for these two statements.
11. If we want to, we can re-educate ourselves so that we can experience sexual relationships with numerous partners without feeling guilty.
13. We will probably be no more sexually attractive to others than we are to ourselves.
In retrospect perhaps identifying gender would have allowed determining whether the splitting was along gender lines. One other statement showed splitting of opinion but had an overall generally neutral response:
6. If a man experiences erection problems, it is generally because of the woman's lack of appreciation of his manhood.
Number six is likely to be splitting along gender lines, but this cannot be proven. Number six had the largest magnitude of schism in the responses.
The second survey examined attitudes towards love. On this survey the responses were strongly disagree (1), somewhat agree (2), and strongly agree (3). Numerically this survey reversed value meanings from the first survey. All 19 respondents completed the second survey.
The respondents had strong consensus agreement with the following statements:
2. Love is the most important thing in my life.
6. Each of us has our "one and only" somewhere out there, if only we can find that person.
7. Once you find your "one and only," you will never feel attracted to anyone else.
The hold on the respondents of the "one and only" concept is perhaps remarkable but may also be reflection of youth. Someone out there is the perfect one for me is perhaps a romantic notion that youth are permitted to possess. Number seven is concerning however. The reality is that one will feel attractions to others. Rather than realizing that their assumption of a "one and only" is wrong, the respondents may decide that their feelings of attraction towards others is evidence that the one they are with is not their one and only "true love." This may put their relationship in jeopardy as they seek to fulfill a false belief in there being a one and only true love for them.
One other statement saw consensus at a somewhat agree level:
4. I am able to function very well without someone to love.
This might also be expected of 18 to 25 year olds - they have not yet been in a longer term relationship in which one comes to depend on a partner over the course of decades..
The area of strongest disagreement was also the statement that had the highest splitting of responses:
16. You're a sucker if you fall in love with someone who has no money.
All but one respondent answered this with either a 1 or a 3, there was only a single 2. That the response was so polarizing suggests that there were two populations with respect to this statement. This again suggests that perhaps the split was along gender lines. The ideal here is still more often a male headed household primary provider. A man has value in part in that he can provide resources via fishing, farming, or salary to support the family.
Two other areas saw a split:
1. I don't believe that research should be done on love, because love should remain mysterious.
5. Love is a fantasy that is popular with 13-year-old girls.
For the first statement the 2.32 average suggests a split between somewhat agree and strongly agree. The respondents generally agree with this statement, but there are some differences of opinion on this. The fifth statement saw an average that indicates somewhat agree, but with splitting of opinions on the statement.
There were also two areas that saw strong agreement but some splitting in opinion:
8. If you love too much, you will only get hurt.
13. If you love someone enough, any kind of problem in the relationship can be overcome.
While eight leans cynical, 13 leans romantic. The idea that love can solve all problems is again likely the result of the youthfulness of the respondents.
The second survey asked the respondents to sum up their scores. A score of 40 to 48 points indicated that the respondent has very romantic ideas about love. A score of 24 to 39 points indicated that the respondent has more realistic ideas about love. A score of 16 to 23 points indicated that the respondent is pretty cynical about love.
Of the 19 respondents, 14 rated as realistic, 5 as romantic, and 0 as cynical. Cynical perhaps comes with age and relationships that did not succeed or which ended badly for a person.
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